How do you move on after betrayal? When the person you loved beyond measure is not who you thought they were and when everything you thought was true was not, how do you survive? You find yourself questioning every single thought you’ve ever had, every plan you had for your future, and every feeling that resided in your heart.
The love that you felt for that person comes into question as you wonder if you ever even knew them. Were they even real? Were the feelings you felt real? Did they lie about everything, including when they told you they loved you and wanted to spend forever with you?
The unfortunate truth is, and this will be SO hard to hear, you will never know. You will spend forever, although it will subside a bit with time, wondering if every single bit of it was an apparition. You may even find it difficult to fully trust another, wrongly blaming them for the hurts of your past.
It will be incredibly difficult to move on from the pain of being lied to. You will find it near impossible not to blame yourself. But the only thing you are guilty of is believing, loving, and trusting in someone. Yes, you may have ignored signs – blatant, alarm ringing, red lights flashing type signs – but again, that is not your fault. You loved without abandon. You shared your soul with someone. You placed your trusting heart in their care. They took all of that, and they crushed it.
So… you just have to take that love you had, and place it carefully in a tiny corner of your heart. Why? Because you will never stop loving them, and the hurt will linger on for a long time to come. Put it away and make a conscious choice to remember the feelings you had of love and joy. Those feelings you had were VERY real and worth honoring. Carry that with you as you put one foot in front of the other.
At the end of the day, you can think of this experience as simply a time when you loved, trusted, and experienced joy. Regardless of how it ended, you will know that although most of it was a lie, at least for a short while, it was a beautiful lie.
~ Patti Crowley